What research shows
76.5% reported it in Nielsen & Zadra, 2003 — behind only being chased. Men reported it more often, 85.0% against 72.4%.
Objects
Dreaming about sex
Dreaming about sex is traditionally read as the second most common dream theme in existence, and one where the content is rarely about the person involved. No survey has measured how often this one occurs, so we give the reading without a frequency — only 19 of the dream themes here have a published figure at all.
The psychological reading
Sexual dreams involving people you have no waking interest in are the norm rather than the exception, and content analyses find they track closeness and attention rather than desire.
When it turns up
Why this dream arrives when it does
Sexual dreams are the second most reported theme in the standard survey, behind being chased, and the content is frequently not about attraction. Content analyses find they track closeness, attention and preoccupation, which is why colleagues and acquaintances appear so often.
Not among the 55 themes ever measured — searched 33,650 times a month. Which dreams have been counted →
The version matters
Different ways this dream shows up
The version carries most of the information.
Dreams of a partner's infidelity are a separate and common form, and they correlate with waking insecurity rather than with any real event.
A partner or spouse
The least remarked-on version and one of the most common. It usually follows ordinary closeness rather than anything in particular.
Someone you have no waking interest in
The norm rather than the exception, and the reason these dreams cause so much needless alarm. Proximity and attention produce dream partners far more reliably than desire does.
An ex
Heavily searched and heavily misread. It tends to arrive when something in the present resembles the old relationship, not when you want the person back.
Someone unsuitable or forbidden
Dreams do not respect categories, and the taboo is often the point: the mind uses the strongest available image for closeness or for transgression.
A partner being unfaithful
A separate dream about trust rather than sex. It correlates with waking insecurity, and studies find it measurably worsens how people treat their partner the next day if they take it seriously.
Sex that is interrupted or impossible
Frustration dreams of this kind are common and usually about obstruction in general — privacy, time, attention — rather than about sex.
Commonly claimed, and wrong
What this dream does not mean
A sexual dream is not a hidden preference, a prediction, or a betrayal. The Freudian habit of reading every dream figure as a desire has not held up, and the damage done by treating these dreams as confessions is entirely avoidable.
How to record a dream, why the feeling matters more than the content, and when recurring nightmares are worth a doctor rather than a dictionary — set out once on the main page.
Asked most often
Questions about this dream
What does it mean to dream about having sex with someone you are not attracted to?
It is the most common version there is. Dream casting follows attention and proximity rather than desire.
What does dreaming about an ex mean?
Usually something in your current situation echoing the old one. It is not a sign of unfinished love, and it is reported by people perfectly happy where they are.
My partner dreamt of cheating — should I worry?
No. These dreams track insecurity and attachment rather than behaviour, and the research points the other way: acting on the dream is what damages the relationship.